this & that

So, Owen started daycare a few weeks ago and it turns out that there is nothing like paying good money for the privilege of going to work to really light a fire under me. I haven't been this productive since... well, since I got knocked up, probably.

I have all the requisite ambivalent feelings about handing my infant over to strangers, but all-in-all having the defined schedule of Work Time and Baby Time is going a long way toward assuaging my guilt about not spending enough time devoted to either of those endeavors.

Work is now done during Work Time, and I can (for the most part) hang it up when I go home, and on days that I'm at home with the baby I don't feel so much like I ought to also be spending some time writing my next dissertation chapter while the baby naps*.

It is revolutionary, I tell you. I haven't had this little guilt about not working when I'm not working in years. I really recommend having a baby to anyone out there who is struggling with priorities.**

Of course, the voices will probably kick into overdrive right as my next deadline rolls around, but for now things are copacetic. It helps that this kid is so social and seems to absolutely adore being at daycare. He does this whole body smile thing when he's super happy, where he balls up his fists right by his face and kind of contorts his body back and forth (hard to explain, but god it's cute) and today when I picked him up I could barely get his coat on because he just couldn't stop being absolutely tickled by the general state of the world.

But, it also turns out that apparently blogging was one of those things I used to do when I was busy pretending to do real work. Thus it falling by the wayside of late. I swear to god yesterday I only procrastinated for maybe a grand total of fifteen minutes all day. That's including non-work related emailing. I was exhausted at the end of the day, but still not nearly as tired as I am after a day home with a baby. Three cheers for full-time stay-at-home-ers. I had to get back to school so I didn't die of exhaustion.

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*If you don't have a new baby you're probably thinking, "But, surely you can find some time while he naps. What are you, lazy?" I am now going to ask the person sitting next to you, who does have kids, to flick your earlobes.

But with that said, it is getting easier to cram other things into my day. Just not deep intellectual thoughts. More like brushing my teeth and cleaning cat litter.

**I kid! (kind of.)

sharing fluids

Yes, the act of breastfeeding is emotional and intense. Either in a painful way (at first, when you're breaking in the equipment) or in a sweet 'i am connected to my baby' sort of way as it is now. But really, there is something even more intimate about picking that baby up after he's done nursing, having him snuggle into your shoulder... and then puke it all back up right down your neck.

2011

Ways in which it started right:
-neither Owen nor I seem to have caught the bug that had Adam puking through the entire state of Illinois yesterday.
- our cat didn't destroying anything worse than his usually roll of papertowels while we were gone
-brunch @ Black Bear Bakery- those anarchist make a mean quiche
-naps all around

Elements that contributed to a less than auspicious start:
-anarchists seem to not care about serving cold pancakes.
- large pieces of our house blew off in the crazy storms yesterday & are now laying about our yard.
- after a month of an extremely happy baby we seem to be entering the teething phase. Hold on to your hats.

I don't get misty-eyed about the arrival of a new year and I don't do resolutions, but I will say that 2009 & 2010 were completely insane, and if I am really going to finish my dissertation then 2011 is not going to be a walk in the park either. Despite the sense of impending doom, in 2011 I plan to cuddle my baby as much a possible & read more books & fewer blogs. Ready? Let's do this year.