notes from the boarding gate

1. Igloo cooler as carry-on luggage.
Potentially brilliant. Was it a choice of ease or necessity? Is there a sandwich and a can of coke in there, or a lobster and some dry ice? Or just some books?

2. National Guard recruits.
Someone should tell these girls that their rainbow striped Delia's sweatshirts are not going to garner much cred with their supervising officers. Also, are you seriously old enough to enlist? I swear I saw you reading CosmoTeen just then.

3. Striped business shirts with white collars ala Michael Douglas in Wallstreet.
Makes you look like a douche bag. But I will concede that this may be entirely the look that you are going for. Touche.

4. Overly sure, swaggering early 20s former thespian in all black.
I am entirely not impressed by the fact that you just HAVE to finish reading this screenplay by tonight. I do not care that you live in LA. However, the girl seated next to you seems enthralled. Perhaps she has yet to catch a glimpse of the Bedazzled hoodie that you have slung over the back of your seat. On a hanger. I need to stop eavesdropping on you, it is just making me feel gross.