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Dear Owen-

It is not a good long-term strategy to try to survive on so little sleep. Believe me. It is making you nuts. It's making me nuts.

Don't roll your eyes at me!

Dear Fancy Baby Swing-

You are supposed to be the answer. You are supposed to be lulling this kid into the starry dreamland so that I can finally take a shower, so that I don't show up at the polls looking like I'm still wearing my Halloween hobo costume. Instead, he screams the minute I get him near you.

I don't think you're trying hard enough.

Dear Wonderful Neighbor Who Gave Us This Big Purple Exercise Ball-

THANK YOU. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.

It is the only thing that works.

Dear Organic Fake Pop-Tarts-

You are not very good. And you are not very good for me. But you contain calories, and I can prepare and eat you with one hand.

For this I salute you.

Dear Whoever It Is That Decided That Drinking Coffee While Breastfeeding Is OK (in moderation)-

*sob* Marry me. *sob*

In other news:

I am currently avoiding eye contact with a December grant deadline.

I have made eye contact with two sets of manuscript edits, but they are still mingling on the other side of the party, so I'm going to just hang out over here by the hours de vours table hoping they don't make the trek across the room and try to engage me in conversation.

Nearly a month with this baby! Good thing he's so amazing in all other ways beside sleeping.

Don't be fooled. It looks like sleep BUT I ASSURE YOU IT IS NOT!